Dear God

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Dear God, they say it’s 2025, a chance to start anew,
but how can I start when I’ve lost the map that leads to You?
The fireworks lit the sky; I saw colors blaze and die,
is that what I am, a fleeting burst in the empty sky?

What could I have been if I’d chased the dreams I left behind?
Would I have been someone stronger, someone less confined?
Why did I let these scars carve silence into my name?
Why does it feel like I’m the only one carrying this shame?

If I hadn’t burned those bridges, would I have found my way?
If I’d chosen the right words, would they still have stayed?
Am I a prisoner of the choices I can never undo?
Or could I have been free, walking hand in hand with You?

What would it feel like to wake up and not dread the day ahead?
What would it mean to carry hope instead of the weight of things unsaid?
If I’d made better choices, could my heart have been whole?
Or am I destined to be this shadow, tethered to a fractured soul?

Why does every good thing feel like it was meant for someone else?
Why do I tear down bridges instead of asking for help?
Would I be happier if I’d let people stay instead of pushing them away?
Or was I always meant to lose, to watch the light decay?

If I’d held on tighter, would love have saved me from the fall?
If I’d let go sooner, would I feel anything at all?
Why do I carry my agony like a torch in the night,
when I know it’s the very thing that blinds my sight?

Do You hear me, God, or am I shouting at the sky?
Am I searching for answers in a silence that won’t reply?
If I had been braver, would my reflection look back with pride?
Or am I forever bound to the wreckage I hide?

Do You remember the promises I whispered when I was young?
Did You keep track of the dreams I buried before they’d begun?
If I asked You now, would you give me the strength to forgive?
Or is redemption a gift for those who truly know how to live?

Why does the past feel closer than the future ever could?
Why do I fear the good things, like I’m unworthy of what’s good?
Do You ever look at me, God, and wonder what went wrong,
or am I just another lost soul, humming a broken song?

Why does regret feel heavier than the life I failed to chase?
Why do I find comfort in the emptiness I embrace?
If I turned around now, could I walk into the light,
or would the weight of my mistakes pull me back into the night?

If I’d chosen differently, would I know what warmth feels like?
If I’d walked a different path, would I have found the will to fight?
Do You think I’m strong, or do You see how weak I’ve become?
Do You know how it feels to carry regret that weighs like a ton?

What would I have seen if I’d lifted my eyes back then?
Would I have known joy, or was it always pretend?
Do You see the cracks in the soul I try to disguise?
Do You hear the questions buried in my midnight cries?

Could I have been someone whose words built something bright,
instead of a scribe who only writes at the wake of the night?
Would my hands have created instead of torn apart,
if I had let your light shine instead of guarding my heart?

Why does the gap between what is and what could be,
Stretch wider than any ocean, swallowing me?
Why do I cling to the pain like it’s all I’ll ever know,
when I could’ve let You guide me where I needed to go?

Why does it feel like the me I could’ve been, is haunting this room?
Why do I hold onto failure like it’s a song I have to croon?
If You could rewrite me, would You erase all my scars,
or are they the only proof I have of who we are?

God, if I let these questions linger, will they consume me whole,
or are they the breadcrumbs that might lead me back to my soul?
If I dare to believe I’m more than my scars and sin,
could I rise from the ashes of who I’ve been?


-S.A.L.T

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